


God is a woman

by grimeysociety



Series: Darcyland Cool For The Summer Challenge [2]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Female Thor, Femslash, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Gender or Sex Swap, POV Darcy Lewis, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Summer Love, Summer Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 07:22:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15529116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimeysociety/pseuds/grimeysociety
Summary: After defeating Thanos, Thor visits Jane and Darcy once more, and is inexplicably female.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on the "August 2: Interdimensional summer" prompt for the Cool For The Summer Challenge over at fuckyeahdarcylewis.tumblr.com 
> 
> Each one of these stories for the challenge is named after a Summer-esque song that I listened to on repeat while I was writing. This one is named after Ariana Grande's "God is a woman", which you can listen to [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHLHSlExFis)
> 
> You might notice that I used they/their pronouns with Thor. I'm not sure what made me decide it, but I hope that people are okay with that. I didn't want to refer to them as he or she. This is also my first ever femslash fic.
> 
> Finally, if you'd like to message me about fic or fandom or whatever please go [here](https://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/ask) :)

Darcy heard the back door slam and Jane came running inside.

“Hey, there’s somebody standing in the middle of this crop circle –”

“Who?” Darcy asked, putting down her laptop and her doughnut she’d partway eaten.

She wiped crumbs away with the back of her hand and followed Jane back outside.

They were staying in Puente Antiguo again, with no Erik, and no government agencies monitoring them.

Well, if they were being monitored, it was more discreet. In all likelihood, Darcy knew they were being watched because of their past associations with intergalactic beings.

Coulson’s words, not hers.

Saying “because of Thor” started many uncomfortable conversations those days, especially since Jane dumped him for leaving her in the lurch.

When Darcy spotted the figure in the distance, she squinted as the wind blew hard in her face, making her hair tangle and fly into her face.

The figure seemed to be moving toward them, and then Darcy’s mouth fell open.

“Is that – Thor?”

They heard about what was happening in Africa. Ships had docked in New York and over in Wakanda, but Darcy and Jane had otherwise been kind of out of the loop.

It had been an advantage and then turned into a giant pain in their asses. Readings had been off the charts, but no-one had landed until now.

“That can’t be Thor.”

Jane squinted as well, her hand partway covering the sun.

“Yeah, that’s not him.”

She crossed her arms, frowning toward the figure, who became clearer.

It was a woman, with long blonde hair and an axe in one hand, a small raccoon beside it.

“Wait, what the fuck?”

A raccoon and a _tree_ – it was definitely plant-like to Darcy – were walking beside the woman, who looked statuesque and striking as she strove under the sun.

“I’m losing my mind,” Darcy muttered.

She looked at Jane. “Are you seeing -?”

“A raccoon and a tree-man?” Jane finished. She sighed. “Yeah. Oh, boy.”

Once the visitors were close enough to hear their voices, Darcy put up her taser and narrowed her eyes toward the woman.

“If you’re not from Earth, please leave. Thor isn’t here.”

“Yeah, he is.”

The raccoon spoke -  strangely, in English – sounding impatient. Was he somehow from the Bronx? Or Brooklyn?

“Um, who the fuck are you?” Darcy asked, pointing at him. “Are you supposed to be some kind of spell –” Darcy shot the woman with the axe a look “- or is it more like a hallucination?”

“It could be radiation poisoning,” Jane hissed under her breath. “A mutant racoon.”

“Hey!” The racoon yelled, and it whipped a gun out from behind its back.

It sounded offended.

“You heard that?” Darcy asked, and it shook its head.

“The rabbit can read lips,” yelled the woman, and Darcy’s mouth fell open.

“Oh, my God. Thor!”

She couldn’t explain it – it was the definition of inexplicable – but she knew without a doubt that the woman that stood before them was Thor.

Thor, who had been well over six feet tall still stood much taller than Jane and Darcy, but had the same eyes, the same cheeky look on their face.

But now Thor had breasts and legs that –

Darcy shoved the thought away. Thor was stunning, in either form, but not hers to approach.

They were Jane’s.

“I just saved the universe!” Thor said, smiling more. “We should have a drink.”

“Oh, no,” Jane whispered, biting her lip.

It seemed obvious now; Thor meant to reconcile with Jane.

-

After a few awkward moments in between waiting as the trio followed them into the house, Darcy pointed to two chairs for the racoon and the tree to sit in.

Jane and Thor went into the back room, and it was clear that Darcy was meant to keep the non-human-looking ones company.

“You got any beer?” the racoon asked.

Darcy rose an eyebrow. “Yeah. Are you supposed to have beer?”

The racoon rolled its eyes, settling its back against the chair and grunting.

Darcy went and got the raccoon a beer, handing it to him.

She watched, fascinated as it gulped it down in a few seconds, wiping its mouth with the back of its paw and grinning to no-one in particular.

“You’re not going to shoot me?” Darcy asked, referring to the pistol the creature had since put away amongst its vest.

“Are you gonna tase me?” it returned, and Darcy shrugged.

“You know who I am?” Darcy asked, and the tree beside the raccoon shrugged.

“I am Groot.”

“Awesome,” Darcy said. “Groot and – who are you?”

“Rocket. Rocky. Badass, whatever,” Rocket said. “And you’re Darcy Lewis, and the broad in there is Jane Foster.”

 “I’m not going to tase anyone,” Darcy said. “For now.”

Jane burst into the room without warning.

The doctor paused, looking at the three of them sitting together.

“This just gets weirder and weirder.”

“You got cable?” Rocket asked, not seeming to take much notice of anybody’s distress.

Jane shot him a confused look. “No?”

He seemed mildly annoyed again.

Thor joined, looking less cheerful than earlier.

They nodded at Rocket and Groot. “Let’s go. Maybe Steve Rogers will join us with the others.”

“We’re not going with them?” Darcy asked Jane, who looked uncomfortable.

“No.”

“I answer for me,” Darcy muttered.

She looked at Thor.

“I want an explanation.”

“What exactly do you want explained, Darcy?”

Thor’s voice was husky, and Darcy felt her stomach flutter.

The feeling was strong and confusing. It was like a nagging sensation. She had the urge to follow Thor wherever they chose to go.

“Why you’re – not like before,” Darcy said.

She tried to be sensitive in case this wasn’t what Thor wanted and it was some kind of spell Loki had cast.

“I destroyed Thanos,” Thor said, and Darcy blinked a couple times.

“Okay, I have no idea who that is.”

“He’s the bad guy behind all of this,” Rocket piped up, sounding impatient again.

“So you’re all supposed to be like this?” Darcy asked, drawing a circle with her finger. “Was it Loki?”

Thor’s jaw ticked. “My brother is dead.”

Darcy’s mouth fell open. She didn’t even know a god dying was possible. And yet, she could have sworn that Jane told her Loki had _already_ died –

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s no matter. I defeated my sister recently. After my father died.”

Thor was smiling while divulging all this, but Darcy saw their eyes were glassy.

“It’s no matter,” they finished, with a shrug Darcy recognised as being a classic Thor move.

They never tended to show vulnerability.

“We have coffee, you can stay for coffee,” Darcy felt herself say, grasping at straws.

Jane shook her head slightly in the corner of Darcy’s eye.

“They can’t stay, Darce,” she murmured and Darcy felt heat rise in her cheeks.

“Why not? They _saved_ the _universe_.”

“It’s been over. For months.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Darcy snapped.

Thor, Rocket and Groot all filed out to stand on the porch while Jane and Darcy bickered, getting louder with each sentence.

“I can’t!” Jane hissed. “You can’t make me go through it again!”

Darcy saw her chin wobble and Jane began to cry, frustrated.

She buried her face in her hands, and despite their fighting Darcy put a hand on Jane’s shoulder, rubbing.

“What happened – to Thor? Why is he-she- _they_ like this now?”

Jane shrugged. “Interdimensional stuff. I have no other words.”

Darcy let out a short laugh. “Fuck. They’re still really hot.”

She turned her head, wondering if Thor could hear. Darcy decided she didn’t mind either way.

When she looked back at Jane, she’d composed herself a little, sniffling.

“I won’t do it again, Darce. Because they’ll leave us – female or not.”

“Is it because they’re presenting as female right now?”

Jane looked shocked. “No! I mean – I’m straight. But it’s not why –”

“Alright,” Darcy muttered, feeling butterflies. “I – I want to go with them.”

Jane grimaced. “Darce.”

“I _know_ it’s dangerous.”

“Is this because it’s summer and you saw Ian –”

Darcy cut her off, not wanting to discuss the engagement photos she saw ex Ian post a few days ago. She wasn’t hurting over that.

“I _want_ to hang out with Thor. Who apparently looks like a Victoria’s Secret Angel now and has a tree and a raccoon as their entourage.”

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Within a few hours Darcy had travelled across the world and met several different superheroes. Thor never left her side.

Darcy knew that Thor was a little hurt by Jane’s rejection, which could be why they were very drunk later that night when they partied it up on Ta’thaar.

Ta’thaar was a planet several billion light-years away from Earth. Rocket explained that it was party central and that if an asshole named Juniper asked about him, Darcy was meant to say that she’d never heard of Rocket or Groot or anybody else from the Guardians.

Darcy soon understood that Rocket was from another group entirely separate to the Avengers, and it was his first visit to Earth.

“There wasn’t much to see,” Rocket yelled over the music with a dismissive wave. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Darcy returned. “What’d you guys do to Juniper?”

“There _may_ be money owed.”

“Owed, or did you steal it?” Darcy asked.

“Yes,” Rocket said, not the slightest bit bothered with answering properly.

Darcy sat with Rocket on one side with Thor on the other.

Thor draped an arm around Darcy, and she could smell that Thor’s breath was heavy with brown liquor.

Darcy didn’t want to risk blacking out. She had a feeling that the alcohol served on Ta’thaar was potent enough to affect a god and therefore deadly for mortals.

It didn’t stop Rocket, who was actually a raccoon and not some kind of apparition.

Darcy learned it wasn’t best to ask Rocket too much about his life before the Guardians.

He got incredibly testy and Darcy knew it didn’t matter how domesticated he seemed – he had a serious attitude problem, but he was exceptionally intelligent.

Thor’s hand squeezed Darcy’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Darcy half-yelled in their ear.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Their mask of bravado had begun to slip each time they drank, so it didn’t surprise Darcy so much by now that Thor’s eyes shone with unshed tears.

“Where will we go after this?”

“Somewhere more quiet, you were hoping?”

Thor gave a wink and Darcy felt herself throb between her legs without much warning.

She had thought about it – crossing the threshold of friendship into something more.

And then Valkyrie showed up, and Darcy felt like a stupid little girl for ever getting the idea that she could go to bed with Thor.

 

Valkyrie held her own bottle in one hand, narrowing her large brown eyes at Thor and Darcy on the couch before taking a swig of whatever it was she was carrying.

“You took no time,” she called, and Thor just smiled a little.

“This is Darcy, an old friend.”

That put Darcy in her place. She peeled off Thor’s hard yet delectably soft arm and shuffled slightly away.

“Where’s she from?”

“Earth.”

Valkyrie scoffed. “Never been.”

It took Darcy three whole seconds to decide that she should go home, and she got up, making her way through the crowds to the exit.

There was a tug on her wrist, and she stopped, turning to see Thor staring down at her.

“Please don’t go.”

“Well, I can’t,” Darcy retorted. “ _You_ got me here.”

It was true – there was a ship they all piled into, Groot taking up the most room with the sounds of his handheld game bleeping constantly, enough to drive everybody crazy.

Darcy was not looking forward to the ride back, but she wasn’t about to risk asking some random entity she could find to take her home.

She didn’t even know which realm she was in, and apparently there were several.

“I’m sorry about Valkyrie. She can be… abrasive.”

“No less than Rocket,” Darcy said, sighing. “Is something going on between you two?”

Thor shrugged. Their eyes did not betray them this time.

“Would you be jealous?”

Darcy considered it before deciding to be honest. She’d come this far.

“Yes.”

“Oh,” Thor said, and smiled.

They were stunning, and Darcy felt the heat rising in her cheeks.

“Is that – were you not expecting me to say that?” Darcy asked, and Thor scratched the back of their head, which was so adorable that Darcy felt herself return a small smile.

“I forgot you’re so direct, Darcy,” Thor admitted. “It’s been such a long time.”

“I missed you,” Darcy said, and then cleared her throat. She felt it tightening with emotion. “A lot, actually.”

“Me, too.”

Thor took one of Darcy’s hands and squeezed.

-

They found a hotel. It was funny how a lot of Earth’s concepts were part of Ta’thaar and Darcy wondered how that occurred.

Had people travelled from all the realms, building franchises?

Their room was small, but the bed was big.

At first, all they did was talk, and Thor began to sober up.

“Have you ever been female before?” Darcy asked, resting her chin in her hands with her arms propped up as they lay beside each other.

Thor lay with their arms folded behind their head, boots still on, with one foot swinging back and forth.

“Once, very briefly a few centuries back.”

“Oh. Did you – what happened?” Darcy asked. “I mean, you never actually said how you defeated Thanos.”

“I cut off his head with my axe, Stormbreaker.”

Darcy swallowed. “Right. That’d do it.”

Thor laughed, and looked up into her eyes. “What else are you dying to know?”

Darcy wondered. “Um – I mean, do you menstruate?”

“Yes.”

The question didn’t seem to bother them. Another question hung unasked.

“You want to know if I slept with any men when I was female?”

“Is that a crude question?”

“Women get used to answering crude questions, I thought,” Thor teased, nudging Darcy just slightly.

Darcy wanted to close the gap between them.

“I didn’t. I don’t want to.”

“You like women, and only women?” Darcy asked, fascinated.

“What’s not to like?” Thor returned, winking.

They rolled over to their side. Darcy looked at the bed covers beneath them, itching to reach out.

“I’ve never – I’ve never slept with a woman,” Darcy breathed, and Thor just stared back at her.

She licked her lips, frowning.

“I just think you’re absolutely stunning. I can’t stop staring at you.”

“You are beautiful, Darcy. And I always knew you were,” Thor began, and Darcy swallowed.

“Except?”

“Except Jane. And I respected that she wanted it to just be she and I. No-one else.”

Darcy nodded.

She looked down at her hands that had begun to sweat.

“But you’re not with Jane anymore,” she whispered, stating the obvious.

Pointing out facts was a coping mechanism. It made something feel more real.

Thor’s hand came down on Darcy’s and stroked her thumb, and Darcy could feel the heat beginning to pool between her legs.

It was overwhelming how obviously turned on she was, especially when she shivered once Thor’s hand moved to the back of her head, threading fingers through hair.

Thor lay on top of her, and their noses brushed.

“I don’t think I’ll be any good,” Darcy whispered. “I might be a let-down.”

“I seriously doubt that,” Thor said, and slanted their mouth over Darcy’s.

She gasped against Thor, and then felt the swipe of tongue and allowed them in, clutching Thor’s sides.

Darcy moaned, claiming her legs together, craving some kind of friction.

Thor was trying to fuck her mouth with their tongue, and Darcy could feel herself burning all over, wanting them this much.

After they became breathless, Thor pulled back, smiling as Darcy panted.

Thor started to take off her armour, and Darcy watched as each piece was slowly revealed.

The chest plate and pants were gone, and soon Thor was down to a little shift covering their bronze shape, and Darcy groaned.

“Goddamn,” she muttered, and Thor laughed.

“Come on, your turn,” they said, and Darcy nodded.

She pulled off her cardigan and leggings with her boots, throwing them aside. After she peeled off her faded shirt revealing her bra and panties – which were nothing special by most standards – Thor was speechless, licking their lips from their space on the bed.

“Don’t do that,” Darcy muttered.

“Do what?”

“Look at me like you want to eat me.”

“But I do.”

Thor took off their shift in one quick movement, kneeling naked with dark eyes staring back at Darcy, who bit her lip.

Thor’s breasts were not as large as Darcy’s but still stood perky and round under the light. Their waist was slight, creating a long hourglass shape with the wide flare of their hips.

Between her shapely thighs her pubic hair was thick and blonde, which made Darcy suck in a breath.

She tackled Thor, kissing them with the kind of force that almost became violent –

Darcy didn’t want to slow down or make sure she came across as in control.

When she looked at Thor, all she wanted to do was touch them everywhere, and be touched in return.

Thor chuckled beneath Darcy as she straddled them, kissing their neck and sliding hands up and down.

Darcy cupped their breasts and understood why men before had wanted to do it to her. Thor felt so incredibly soft and the smell of their skin was intoxicating.

Darcy kissed lower, tongue between the valley of their breasts, and she heard Thor shudder.

Their nipples began to pebble, and Darcy rolled one between her fingers, rough enough to make Thor’s eyes flash with desire, their hips rolling.

Darcy licked up the flesh of their breast, nipping, before settling to take the other nipple in her mouth.

Thor moaned, and Darcy felt the sound all the way to her cunt, wondering why the hell she never did this before tonight, when she could make another female make a sound like _that_.

Darcy sucked, and soon Thor’s nipple was hard and wet. The other Darcy sucked as well, and then slid her hand down their stomach.

She stopped just short of grazing her fingertips over Thor’s slit.

Reality had sunk in – she hadn’t done this before, except to herself.

“Would you show me?”

Thor kissed her, nodding. “Of course.”

Darcy let out a short laugh, relieved though still nervous.

She swallowed, and looked down. Thor guided her hand between their legs, and placed it so Darcy could feel how hot and wet they already were.

“Jesus,” she hissed.

She found Thor’s clit, circling it slowly. Thor huffed a little, biting their lip.

“That feels good.”

“Okay.”

Darcy gulped, and then dipped a finger inside, and Thor moaned louder.

“This good too?”

Darcy had her thumb on their clit with her fingers inside, slowly rubbing and watching Thor grow pink in the face.

She could hear the wet sound of her fingers moving as they disappeared inside.

“Faster?” she asked, and Thor nodded.

Thor pressed Darcy’s thumb down harder, and Darcy felt incredible just witnessing all this.

It was another thing as well to know that she was making Thor feel this good.

The throb between her own thighs was impatient.

Emboldened, Darcy ducked, shuffling back down the bed and putting her head on Thor’s thigh.

The smell of Thor’s arousal spurred her on, and soon Darcy’s tongue darted out to lick them between her legs, just above where her fingers rested inside.

Thor jolted.

“Don’t tease.”

“I’m not gonna, I’m not that mean,” Darcy whispered.

She obliged willingly – she put her mouth over Thor’s clit and sucked it into her mouth, Thor’s hips beginning to roll again.

She started off slow before she committed to it fully, working her jaw, kissing and licking and occasionally nipping Thor’s outer lips.

Her face was getting wet, and soon Thor clenched on Darcy’s fingers, their hips lifted off the bed completely.

When Thor came, they cried out, blonde hair messy, and slightly muffled by one arm across their face.

When they resurfaced, moving so they were looking down at Darcy between their legs, they smiled, making Darcy feel like her insides were turning to goo.

Darcy kissed their thigh, but then opened her mouth to drag her tongue along Thor’s cunt again, making her moan.

It sounded almost feeble, and it rang in Darcy’s ears.

“Almost forgot about multiple orgasms,” Thor whispered, and then they whimpered once Darcy licked up to their swollen clit.

Thor fell back down, and Darcy went at it – fingers, tongue and lips working them over until they were screaming, her head clamped between their thighs.

In seconds, Darcy was shoved down against the mattress, her wet mouth covered by Thor’s, and soon she was whimpering against their lips as Thor’s hand was in her panties.

Thor had to know how wet she was for them. There were wet patches on the bed, and not just because of Thor.

Fingers slipped inside Darcy and she released a shaky breath.

“Oh, my God.”

Her eyes rolled back.

It was astonishing just how little she required to come around Thor’s fingers.

Three fingers and just a few rough swipes of her clit and she was gripping the covers and seeing stars.

Thor kissed her everywhere – kissed her face, kissed her neck, kissed her thighs and cunt.

They took turns, and after more than two hours of making love, Darcy was exhausted, draped across Thor’s naked chest with her bra partway down her front, a bite mark on her thigh.

Their sweat began to dry and Thor sighed, wrapping tighter around her.

“I did really miss you,” they whispered into Darcy’s hair.

Darcy just smiled, drifting off.

-

Three days later, Thor took her home.

There were promises of a return, but Darcy knew not to hold her breath.

She did not resent knowing nothing was certain.

It made things more interesting, knowing that Thor could be so many things at once, and still love Darcy just as much.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [Darcy](http://nikklesz.tumblr.com/post/140724747489/me)


End file.
